By Taylor Donaldson, RN
In my years as a geriatric nurse, I noticed something about getting dressed that doesn’t show up on any medical chart. When an older adult began needing help with dressing, the hardest part usually wasn’t the buttons, zippers or sleeves. It was what needing that help represented.
Getting dressed is one of the first things we learn to do independently. Think about a child proudly announcing, “I did it myself.” Decades later, that same routine can become difficult because of changes in mobility, hand strength, balance, memory or dexterity. But getting dressed is still deeply personal. It’s how we prepare ourselves for the day, how we express our personality and part of how we continue feeling like ourselves.
That’s why helping an older adult get dressed should be about more than simply getting clothes onto their body. The goal is to help them continue doing as much as they can for themselves and to preserve their dignity when they need assistance.
Why Getting Dressed Can Become Difficult for Older Adults
Traditional clothing asks our bodies to do quite a lot. Buttons require fine-motor control. Zippers require grip and coordination. Pulling a shirt over the head requires shoulder mobility. Pants may require bending down, balancing and pulling fabric over the legs and hips.
Those movements can become more difficult for someone experiencing arthritis, reduced hand dexterity, limited shoulder or arm mobility, balance changes, muscle weakness, tremors, memory changes or recovery from an injury or surgery.
Sometimes the difficulty is obvious. Other times, an older adult quietly adapts. They may start wearing the same easy outfit every day, avoid certain clothes or even stop going out because getting ready feels like too much work. That’s why I encourage families to pay attention to the dressing routine itself. The solution may not be doing more for the person. Sometimes it means changing the way help is offered.
Offer a Choice, Not an Entire Closet
Choice is important, but too many choices can sometimes make getting dressed feel more complicated than it needs to be. Instead of asking, “What do you want to wear today?” try holding up two shirts and asking, “Would you rather wear this one or this one?”
The decision still belongs to them. You’re simply making it easier to make. This can be particularly helpful for someone experiencing memory or cognitive changes, but it can also make mornings simpler for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the dressing process.
Let Them Do What They Can
One of the easiest mistakes caregivers can make is helping too quickly. You see someone struggling with a button, so you fasten it. They’re taking a long time pulling up their pants, so you step in. It feels helpful, but over time, doing every difficult step for someone can unintentionally take away opportunities to continue using the abilities they still have.
If it’s safe, give them time. Even if getting dressed takes ten minutes longer, let them complete the parts they can manage and offer help when they ask for it or when frustration begins to take over. Independence doesn’t always mean doing the entire task alone. Sometimes it means continuing to participate in as much of the task as possible.
Lay Clothes Out in the Order They Go On
A simple change to the environment can make dressing easier. Instead of placing a pile of clothing on the bed, lay garments out in the order they’ll be worn: underwear first, then pants, shirt, sweater and socks.
This removes one step from the process: figuring out what comes next. It can be especially helpful for someone who becomes distracted or confused while dressing, and it also makes it easier for a family member or professional care partner to provide help without completely taking over the routine.
Protect Their Privacy
When someone begins needing help with personal care, privacy can disappear surprisingly quickly. But needing assistance doesn’t make someone any less deserving of it.
Close the bedroom or bathroom door. Keep a robe or towel nearby. Cover parts of the body that aren’t currently being dressed, and try talking about something other than the task itself while you help. These may sound like small things, but they reinforce an important message: you are still an adult, not a task that needs to be completed.
Keep the Clothes They Love
Our clothes carry memories. A favorite sweater might remind someone of family holidays. A certain shirt may be what they always wore to dinner with friends. A scarf may have been part of their style for decades. Those preferences don’t disappear simply because dressing becomes more difficult.
Whenever possible, keep familiar pieces in the wardrobe. If a favorite garment has become difficult or uncomfortable to put on, look for another way to preserve the style. Maybe someone can help with that particular garment, or perhaps you can find a similar version with features that make dressing easier.
The goal isn’t to replace someone’s wardrobe with clothing that looks completely different. It’s to help them continue dressing like themselves.
Choose Clothing That Does Some of the Work
Sometimes a small clothing change can make a big difference. If buttons have become frustrating, a magnetic button shirt can maintain the familiar appearance of a traditional button-down without requiring the same fine-motor movements.
If pulling traditional pants on has become difficult, adaptive pants with alternative openings can reduce some of the bending, pulling and repositioning involved. Joe & Bella’s Everyday Side-Zip Pants, for example, use side zippers to create a wider opening during dressing, which can make the process easier whether someone dresses independently or receives assistance.
The idea isn’t to have clothing take over the entire dressing process. It’s to remove the one or two steps that are preventing someone from doing the rest. That’s what I think good adaptive clothing should do.
Assisted Dressing Should Still Feel Collaborative
When someone requires more hands-on help, the way that help is given matters. Explain what you’re doing before you do it, ask before moving an arm or leg, and whenever possible, let the person participate.
They may be able to put an arm through a sleeve while you hold the shirt. They might pull up one side of their pants while you assist with the other. Dressing can still be something you do with someone rather than something you do to them, and that distinction can make the experience feel very different.
Pay Attention to What the Dressing Struggle Is Telling You
If getting dressed has suddenly become much harder, don’t assume the answer is simply more assistance. Look at what specifically has changed.
Is one shoulder harder to move? Are buttons suddenly taking much longer? Is bending down the problem? Does the person seem confused about which garment goes on next?
Identifying the difficult step can help you find a better solution. Sometimes it’s a clothing change. Sometimes it’s reorganizing the routine. And sometimes a new difficulty is worth discussing with a healthcare professional, especially if it appears suddenly or is accompanied by other changes.
Ask One Simple Question
If you’re helping someone you love, try asking them:
“Is there anything about getting dressed that you wish were easier?”
Then listen to the answer. It might be buttons. It might be pulling pants over the feet. It might be that they hate asking someone for help. Or it might be that none of the clothes in their closet feel like “them” anymore.
The best solution starts with understanding the actual problem.
Getting Dressed Is About More Than Clothing
Getting dressed may seem like a small part of the day, but it touches on choice, privacy, independence, routine and identity.
As a nurse, I learned that supporting someone doesn’t always mean doing more for them. Sometimes it means changing the environment, changing the clothing or simply giving them enough time to continue doing something for themselves.
Because getting dressed isn’t just how we prepare for the day. It’s one of the ways we begin the day as ourselves.
About Nurse Taylor
Taylor Donaldson, RN, is Joe & Bella’s Chief Customer Happiness Officer and a former geriatric nurse. As “Nurse Taylor,” she shares practical advice drawn from her clinical background and years of working directly with older adults and their families.
At Joe & Bella, we believe getting dressed shouldn’t be one more thing that gets in the way of the day.